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Moving On

This category contains 51 posts

There’s No Such Thing As Balance – Part 3

When we were last together, I said that you and I spend the majority of our time and energy focused on our priorities. I probably should have put quote marks around the word “priorities” (like I did just now). That is because our self-talk is very persuasive and we can justify pretty much any behavior … Continue reading

There’s No Such Thing As Balance – Part 2

If you ever feel like you need more balance in your life, you could be on the lighter end of the “chaos continuum” where your life seems to be a little off kilter… … or you could be on the other end of the continuum because you are in a season of your life where … Continue reading

There’s No Such Thing As Balance – Part 1

Many people who are obsessive-compulsive say that they are constantly striving for the perfect state, whatever that is. It is not surprising that those same people say that they are almost never satisfied. One’s hands can never be germ-free enough. One’s countertops can never be clean enough. Something is always not quite right. The OCD … Continue reading

Moving Up Versus Moving On

A powerful little phrase came to me during a recent coaching session. I was working with a person who is coping with a great deal of pain involving the choices of her significant other. In talking about her life and the troubled state of the relationship, she kept saying that her friends are telling her … Continue reading

Kids Know How to Succeed

Spend enough time around little children and you will see them misperceive something they have heard or been taught. Sometimes it is pretty funny. A few examples … Example #1 A nativity play performed by seven-year-olds. The young actors are positioned for the iconic gathering around the manger. The first Wise Man steps forward with … Continue reading

The Present is a Gift – Part 4

Grady smiled and put his hands up. “That’s all I have to say. Let’s have a good time tonight!” He started putting the microphone down while his colleagues applauded and cheered. Then someone yelled, “What’s in the boxes?” Grady rolled his eyes as if to say ‘Where is my head?’ “Thank you! I almost forgot … Continue reading

Free from Independence – Part 2

Freedom isn’t free. It is a struggle. But we all, especially those of us that bristle at the idea of someone else controlling us, need to be clear about what we are fighting in favor of and what exactly it is that we are resisting. From the age of about eight, most of us were … Continue reading

Free from Independence – Part 1

Have you seen the bumper sticker that says “Freedom Isn’t Free”? Mankind was into independence long before Americans fought for it in the Revolutionary War.So strong is our desire to be independent, many of us struggle for it for most of our lives. Teenagers slam doors. College students protest. Couples often argue about issues that … Continue reading

The Present is a Gift – Part 3

Finally, the applause began to taper off. Most of those who had been seated remained standing, wiping away years. Grady continued, “Here’s a funny thing. There was this old guy sitting there by my bed when I woke up. He’s smiling and he says something like, ‘There’s still plenty of time.’ I am a little … Continue reading

Put It Down – Part 3

Painful childhood events are among the things we can understand people taking, well, personally. But events like World War II, the Great Depression and other such things can similarly leave a lifelong mark. When I was a boy, two or three days a week during the spring and summer months I rode my bike down … Continue reading

Put It Down – Part 2

The fact is that we have a choice as to what we carry around with us in life. We act like we don’t, but we do. To explain dysfunctions (any of the myriad of ways our dysfunctions are manifest), we use excuses that put the onus of responsibility (blame) upon things well outside of our … Continue reading

Taking Responsibility – Making It Easier – Part 5

Man Shows Up At His Own Funeral Reuters recently reported a very odd story out of Brazil. Several circumstances had to come together exactly as they did in this case in order for this uncanny incident to have happened. “A 41-year-old car washer from northeastern Brazil shocked his family by turning up at his own … Continue reading

Put It Down – Part 1

What if I told you that I have a tool that, when used, will help give you the ability to blast through any obstacle and do things with your life that you never thought you’d be able to do? Two things happen whenever I read words like that.   First, I think to myself, “Cool! I … Continue reading

My Mother-In-Law Hates Me

This is an equal opportunity phenomenon, experienced by both husbands and wives. To be sure, an article this short cannot begin to address core issues, so know that that is not what this is about. This is about one thing. If you find that you are the focus of anyone’s unwarranted hatred, venom, or just … Continue reading

The Vulnerability Myth

The ancient Roman philosopher, Horace, wrote that “It is the false shame of fools to try to conceal wounds that have not healed.” If I advertised a seminar titled How to Forgive and Forget, or How to Move Past Painful Problems from the Past, or How to Overcome Shame and Guilt, how many people do … Continue reading

Taking Responsibility: Making It Easier – Part 3

Ted was sexually abused multiple times over about a three year period when he was a kid. His abuser used money and gifts both as a reward and a punishment in order to get what he wanted out of Ted. Slowly over the decades since that dark time, Ted has had to discover the ways … Continue reading

Taking Responsibility – Making It Easier: Part 2

We concluded Part 1 by pointing out that we already know at a very deep level about the benefits of doing certain things like breathing. We know we have got to breathe, but because the act of breathing is unconsciously taken care of, we take for granted the benefit of doing it. If, however, our … Continue reading

It Is Hopeless

It was one of those light bulb moments. A few of us were sitting in a comfortable setting, having a discussion. The topic doesn’t matter. What matters is that some old disagreements arose and I didn’t handle the situation very well. I could point out that the other person in the group – the “main” … Continue reading

Life Lesson from Willing Bowling Couple

Meet Dave and Kathleen. They are two genuinely nice people. Married for almost seventeen years, if you take a surface look at the ways in which they are very different from each other, you might wonder why they are even a couple, let alone thriving in their relationship for so long. Or, conversely, you might … Continue reading

The Words in Her Book – Part 8

Those few days on Iwo Jima left a lifetime mark on Jacob Jennings. Many who had similar wartime experiences were horribly traumatized and they suffered in one form or another for the rest of their lives as well. During our less-than four years of involvement in World War II, over a third (37.5%) of the approximately 800,000 American … Continue reading

The Words in Her Book – Part 7

At first light the next morning I used my field glass to inspect the cliffs of the short mountain opposite us to the west. I had a hunch. at one point yesterday I took mental note that those cliffs seemed full of pock marks and what if the enemy were hiding maybe shooting from some … Continue reading

New Light

When someone sheds new light on something, do you usually feel better or worse? Of course, we feel better. Light always brings about a better feeling. Even when we are the recipient of bad news, the fact that we now have a better grasp of the situation; the fact that we know something that we … Continue reading

The Words in Her Book – Part 6

Starting at 8:59 am, local time, on February 19, 1945, and continuing for 36 days, the little island a fewhundred miles south of the main island of Japan was one of the most densely populated places on the planet. Only about a third the size of Manhattan, the strategic importance of Iwo Jima to both … Continue reading

Don’t Stop

Perhaps the best advice I ever received: Don’t stop. Winston Churchill made famous the phrase “Never give up!” But when I say Don’t stop, I am not referring to the importance of persevering. Though being determined and resolute and tenacious and unrelenting and tireless and purposeful and persistent are all exceedingly important, those qualities will … Continue reading

The Words in Her Book – Part 3

Of course they had to be her hands. Who else’s hands could she be holding in front of her face? But they seemed so… so… well, old. Maybe not old. But older than the hands of a little girl, for sure. She tried to put aside the perplexing mystery of her hands by refocusing her … Continue reading

The Last Four Years – Part 2

A friend recently shared the following quote with me from a Celtic prayer book: “The measure of our love is not what we give of ourselves, but by what we hold back.” Do yourself the favor of reviewing again the list of questions from Part 1 (shown below for your convenience). Paying special attention to … Continue reading

The Last Four Years – Part 1

Ever since the 1980 presidential election when Ronald Reagan asked Americans, “Are you better off now than you were four years ago?” someone has asked the same question every time the electorate considers who should be president for the next four years. Of course, the context of the question has to do with the economy. … Continue reading

The Words in Her Book – Part 2

Now that she could actually see the magnificent coastal city approaching, the anticipation was almost too much. To pass the time while the great ship steadily pushed its way toward its destination, the little girl thought it wise to turn her attention to the words in her book. Reading might make it easier. Besides, perhaps … Continue reading

The Words in Her Book – Part 1

With one hand she clutched the small, well-worn book. With the other hand she held onto the railing of the great ship. Too short to see over the long and weathered wooden handrail, she could see just fine under it. She felt safe. She was safe; she had her book. The little girl knew that … Continue reading

The Dragonslayer

I’m writing this article because I have been doing some research about a topic that fascinated me when I was a kid. The topic is dragons and dragon slayers. I know how peculiar this sounds. Please bear with me. I promise this relates to you, personally. I will explain how. First, I am going to say something … Continue reading

Author Jim Aitkins

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